Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
