so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
