It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
