i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
