I must be too annoying 4 u.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
