Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need water and some morals
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
