Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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