I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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