it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
