I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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