You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
