Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
