'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
