just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
