My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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