You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
