its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
