so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
