Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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