We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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