ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
