if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
