I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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