So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
