Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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