When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The air was thick with penises
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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