Christians are straight up FREAKS
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize