I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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