Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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