Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
