The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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