If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
