I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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