I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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