so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
