38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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