Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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