awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
