Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
