I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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