youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
