he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
