Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
