New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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