Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've blown a few things in my day
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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