I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
