and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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