look no pants
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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