Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
God I need to hump something, right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
