ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
