I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
